@UTF8 @Begin @Languages: eng @Participants: DARR DARRYL Speaker, PAME PAMELA Speaker, ENV ENV Environment @Options: CA, caps, bullets @ID: eng|SBCSAE|DARR|||||Speaker||| @ID: eng|SBCSAE|PAME|||||Speaker||| @ID: eng|SBCSAE|ENV|||||Environment||| @Media: 05, audio @Comment: A Book About Death @Comment: A conversation between a couple who are lying in bed, recorded in Santa Barbara, California. *DARR: But 0_3460 (.) but to try and (.) and talk me out of believing in Murphy's Law 3460_6710 by offering a miracle as a replacement 6710_9070 that doesn't d- work . 9070_10070 *DARR: &=tsk &=in . 10070_10270 *PAME: Well you're right 10270_10850 I think they're probably flip sides . 10850_12970 *DARR: &=tsk I mean who ⌈ are you ⌉ . 12970_13840 *PAME: ⌊ But I'm ⌋ +... 13530_13870 *DARR: Pollyanna ? 13870_14560 *PAME: (..) &=SWALLOW &=tsk Ha:rdly: . 14560_16950 *DARR: &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh . 16950_17580 *PAME: Hardly: 17580_18560 look where I've come from . 18560_19760 *PAME: (..) &=in I mean 19760_21150 (.) ʔuh &=ex (..) &=in ʔuh this chapter on heaven an hell 21150_24770 it's really interesting . 24770_25820 *DARR: (..) Why . 25820_27220 *PAME: I used to have this 27220_28070 (.) sort of 28070_28620 (.) ʔuh standard li:ne 28620_29720 that 29720_29970 (..) ʔuh there were two things I got out of: (.) my marriage . 29970_33770 *PAME: One was: a name that was easy to spell 33770_35840 and one was a ʔuh 35840_36840 (.) &=in a child . 36840_37840 *PAME: &=ex (.) ʔuh (..) That: 37840_42140 (..) really got me grounded . 42140_45630 *PAME: But 45630_45880 &=in the fact of the matter is 45880_48260 (..) &=in that the marriage itself: 48260_52190 I mean as h:ellish as it was 52190_54040 (..) ʔuh (.) it's like it pulled me under 54040_58040 like a giant octopus 58040_59490 or a giant 59490_60490 ʔuh (..) giant shark . 60490_62250 *PAME: &=in And it pulled me all the way under . 62250_63980 *PAME: And then 63980_64430 &=in (..) and there I was 64430_67100 it was like the silent scream 67100_68500 and then 68500_68950 (.) then I found that (.) Iʔ was on my own two feet again . 68950_71850 *PAME: And it r:eally was +/. 71850_73000 *PAME: &=in (.) &=ex (..) ʔuh (.) ʔuh &=ex &=in &=tsk 73000_80260 S- what was hell in that (.) that marriage became 80260_82870 (..) became a way out for me . 82870_86500 *PAME: (..) It was the flip side . 86500_88650 *PAME: &=in (.) It's like sometimes you go through things 88650_91000 (..) and you come out the other side of them 91000_92770 &{l=WH you &}l=WH (.) come out so much better . 92770_94320 *PAME: (..) &=in And if I hadn't had that 94320_96320 if I hadn't had +/. 96320_97270 *PAME: ⌈ &=in ⌉ . 97270_97800 *DARR: ⌊ It's not the way ⌋ with food . 97270_98580 *PAME: (..) What do you mean . 98580_100190 *DARR: (..) &=in What goes in ⌈ one way . 100190_102460 *PAME: ⌊ &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh . 102020_104080 *DARR: &{l=@ doesn't come out XXX &}l=@ &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌉ . 102460_105680 *PAME: &=in &{l=@ Kay &}l=@ 104080_105330 &=in ⌋ 105330_105680 comes out very hellish . 105730_107030 *DARR: &=in Yeah: . 107030_107820 *PAME: Very hellish . 107820_108860 *DARR: (.) So what &{l=X did that ⌈ have to d⌉o &}l=X +... 108860_109850 *PAME: ⌊ But it's so ⌋ &god [: good] +/. 109350_110150 *PAME: k:- so good going down . 110150_111300 *PAME: Th- 111300_111450 ⌈ I mean ⌉ . 111450_111620 *DARR: ⌊ What did ⌋ +... 111450_111580 *PAME: there's there's the opposites again . 111620_113370 *DARR: It's it's ⌈ ma- ⌉ +... 113370_114120 *PAME: ⌊ The ⌋ food is like 113890_114740 all ⌈2 unique ⌉2 . 114740_115460 *DARR: ⌊2 Hey ⌋2 . 115030_115400 *PAME: and ⌈3 wonderful . 115460_116110 *DARR: ⌊3 I- it's major-league ⌋3 Yin and Yang . 115730_117680 *PAME: and heavenly ⌉3 116110_116830 (..) &=tsk major league . 117680_118920 *DARR: (.) What does that have to do with heaven and hell in the book . 118920_120970 *PAME: (..) Well 120970_122930 (..) ʔuh I'm just sort of: reiterating . 122930_124980 *PAME: (..) I could read you some . 124980_127130 *DARR: ⌈ No ⌉ . 127130_127490 *PAME: ⌊ I ⌋ mean is that allowed ? 127270_128410 *DARR: (..) No I I don't want to hear anything out of a book with 128410_132060 (.) chapter called heaven and hell . 132060_133610 *PAME: You don't . 133610_134360 *DARR: (.) No . 134360_135010 *PAME: Nkay . 135010_135810 *PAME: Well then let's talk about ⌈ our vacation ⌉ . 135810_137710 *DARR: ⌊ I'm gonna be ⌋ closed-minded about it . 136860_138990 *PAME: &=tsk (..) Oh dear . 138990_140920 *PAME: &=ex . 140920_141170 *DARR: &=in ⌈ But . 141170_141720 *PAME: ⌊ That's hell ⌋ . 141420_141940 *DARR: (.) I ⌉ didn't like the book 141840_142740 the way I +/. 142740_143190 *DARR: the minute I looked at it . 143190_144290 *PAME: (..) You didn't . 144290_145390 *DARR: No . 145390_146140 *PAME: That's cause you . 146140_146840 *DARR: (..) That's because I have my own ideas about it 146840_149980 I guess . 149980_150580 *DARR: That I'm (.) pretty comfortable with . 150580_152360 *PAME: (..) ah . 152360_153510 *DARR: (..) I don't like re- +/. 153510_155860 *DARR: I don't like reading books about what other people think about dying . 155860_159450 *DARR: (..) And I 159450_163640 (.) consider myself a real free ⌈ thinker when it comes to that ⌉ stuff . 163640_166940 *PAME: ⌊ &=tsk &=in Well ⌋ . 165390_166640 *DARR: ⌈2 And that's ⌉2 +... 166940_167540 *PAME: ⌊2 &{l=% Remember ⌋2 166940_167690 remember it in the movie &}l=% 167690_168690 in Beetlejuice ? 168690_169590 *PAME: The h:andbook for the recently deceased ? 169590_172050 *DARR: Yeah ? 172050_172300 *PAME: &{l=X I mean &}l=X books 172300_173550 wor:ds . 173550_174700 *PAME: I mean 174700_175150 (..) n- they just become handbooks . 175150_180030 *PAME: You distill them 180030_180930 and use them in your own way . 180930_182250 *DARR: (..) &{l=P No &}l=P 182250_187110 (..) no 187110_188110 (.) no I don't . 188110_188710 *DARR: (.) I don't . 188710_189460 *DARR: (..) &=in I 189460_190830 (..) I come up with my own ideas about that stuff . 190830_195280 *PAME: (..) And where do you get the ideas . 195280_197330 *DARR: (..) Thought . 197330_198690 *PAME: (..) And where do you get those thoughts ? 198690_200690 *DARR: Processing what goes on around me . 200690_202800 *PAME: (..) Well ? 202800_203730 *PAME: (..) Isn't: a book part of what goes on ⌈ around you ⌉ ? 203730_206630 *DARR: ⌊ &=in Well ʔuh ⌋ 205780_206800 (..) ʔuh more from an oblique sou:rce . 206800_211020 *DARR: You know 211020_211270 &{l=X when &}l=X you're reading fiction 211270_212670 or 212670_213070 (.) &=in or articles 213070_214590 or history or something like that 214590_216290 &=in but (.) but 216290_217870 t- for me it's very difficult 217870_219070 to pick up a b:ook about d:eath . 219070_221070 *DARR: (.) &=in That someone's written about death 221070_222970 because it's ⌈ bullshit . 222970_224220 *PAME: ⌊ &=in &{l=% Well +... 223490_224240 *DARR: Who knows what death ⌉ is . 224220_225490 *PAME: What +/. 224590_224740 *PAME: d- &}l=% ⌋ +/. 224740_225590 *PAME: ʔwhat what this man has put in the boo- +/. 225590_227590 *PAME: You haven't read the book 227590_228740 one . 228740_228940 *PAME: You haven't read the book 228940_229890 so you don't know . 229890_230790 *PAME: (..) ⌈ I haven't read the book so I don't know . 230790_233390 *DARR: ⌊ Yeah but I do know 231690_232290 it it's an awfully 232290_233190 it's it's ⌋ an awfully presumptuous thing . 233190_234690 *PAME: but &=in ⌉ . 233390_233990 *DARR: to sit down and write a book about ⌈2 death . 234690_236340 *PAME: ⌊2 d- +... 236110_236410 *DARR: when you haven't died ⌉2 . 236410_237260 *PAME: It has 236410_236960 it ⌋2 has 236960_237510 it has stories in there from 237510_239400 &=in from the Zen: an:d 239400_241320 (.) f- it just pools on other different +... 241320_243420 *DARR: Wel⌈l the Zen can be bullshit too ⌉ . 243420_245170 *PAME: ⌊ ʔuh (.) different sources ⌋ . 243420_245020 *DARR: I mean 245170_245320 ⌈ whoever wrote the book of Zen wasn't dead either . 245320_247770 *PAME: ⌊ Well &{l=F it (.) might all: be bullshit &}l=F . 245640_247630 *DARR: &=laugh &=ex ⌉ . 247770_247820 *PAME: but 247780_247970 you g- you g- you've gotta ⌋ pull these ideas from your environment 247970_250870 and what's gone on before: . 250870_252320 *PAME: (..) &=in Th- th- ʔthe things I know most 252320_256890 about life and death come from (.) from: (.) my g:randmother . 256890_259910 *PAME: (..) &=in And having gone through all that ʔuh . 259910_262160 *PAME: (..) With her . 262160_263160 *PAME: &=in And then it was interesting 263160_265540 cause reading I did after that 265540_267280 substantiated that experience . 267280_269390 *PAME: &=in For two months: 269390_270880 prior to her death 270880_271830 did I tell you this ? 271830_272680 *PAME: That she dreamt ? 272680_273580 *PAME: &=in About (.) um 273580_275430 (..) &=in she had this dream of falling off a building . 275430_278180 *PAME: (.) &=in Down o- +/. 278180_279030 *PAME: &=in Just like that 279030_279880 (.) that cartoon we saw . 279880_281030 *DARR: (..) Falling ? 281030_282390 *DARR: (.) Yeah . 282390_283210 *PAME: The animation ⌈ cartoon ⌉ . 283210_284470 *DARR: ⌊ yeah ⌋ (.) yeah (.) yeah . 284090_284940 *PAME: &=in And it was like that . 284940_286040 *PAME: And that's what she was dreaming about . 286040_287790 *PAME: (..) And then she said that she dreamt about 287790_291410 &=in u:m 291410_292750 (.) all of her relatives 292750_294420 (..) that had died . 294420_296650 *PAME: (..) She wasn't dreaming about anybody who was living 296650_299590 but who had die:d . 299590_300590 *DARR: &=in . 300590_301440 *PAME: (..) And I read that l:ater . 301440_305920 *PAME: You know it was much later I read that in a book where 305920_308420 &=in (..) u:m 308420_309880 (..) &=in people who (.) ʔhad (.) ʔuh technically died 309880_315810 and then have been revived . 315810_317180 *PAME: (..) &=in Saw (.) relatives coming for them . 317180_320270 *DARR: I've read that . 320270_321220 *PAME: &=in Course that may be what happens: 321220_323780 (.) prior to the big 323780_325130 (..) the big nothing . 325130_327680 *DARR: (..) &=in So why are you reading a book about dying . 327680_333530 *PAME: (..) &{l=P I don't know &}l=P . 333530_340670 *DARR: (.) you don't know ? 340670_342120 *PAME: (.) I have an interest in it . 342120_344190 *DARR: Why . 344190_344720 *DARR: (..) You're alive . 344720_348200 *DARR: Why are you r:eading a book about dying . 348200_350250 *PAME: (..) I've always been interested in it . 350250_354080 *DARR: ʔuh &{l=W Why &}l=W . 354080_354880 *DARR: (..) I mean 354880_357960 you know 357960_358260 y:ou ask someone why they're interested in electronics 358260_360790 and they can probably tell you . 360790_362240 *DARR: &=in . 362240_363240 *PAME: (..) &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh 363240_365750 &=in Well 365750_367330 I don't know 367330_367920 I guess it must 367920_368600 fo- some reason 368600_369600 ʔI was fascinated with that movie last night . 369600_372050 *PAME: (.) With 372050_372500 (..) &=in with uh 372500_374190 Lilian Gish and ⌈ B- ⌉ . 374190_375630 *DARR: ⌊ &=laugh ⌋ &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh . 375410_376070 *PAME: &{l=@ and Bette Davis . 376070_376920 *PAME: &=in I couldn't believe . 376920_378870 *PAME: &=in &}l=@ 378870_380290 These two old 380290_381740 (..) I don't know 381740_385320 (..) &=ex I wanna say windba:gs . 385320_390650 *PAME: (..) Ha- but what h:appens to them 390650_393540 I 393540_393790 &=in here's Betty Davis . 393790_395190 *PAME: I mean . 395190_395640 *DARR: &{l=VOX Sa:rah: &}l=VOX ? 395640_396860 *PAME: &{l=X &{l=@ z- yeah &}l=@ &}l=X +/. 396860_397500 *PAME: &=in This incredible (..) film legend . 397500_400420 *PAME: (..) And we think of her in Jezebe:l 400420_403830 we think of her 403830_404730 &=in you know 404730_405260 smoking &=in (.) cigarette smoke into the faces of (.) William Holden and 405260_410650 &=in and the like . 410650_411750 *DARR: I don't 411750_412300 I've never seen those movies . 412300_413500 *PAME: (..) &=tsk You've never seen Betty Davis movie ? 413500_415890 *PAME: You've heard Kim- +/. 415890_417110 *PAME: ʔuh The song Betty Davis Eye:s ? 417110_419060 *DARR: Sure . 419060_419440 *PAME: &=in (..) And she's got 419440_421210 she got 421210_421710 the woman's got a re:p . 421710_422910 *DARR: &=YAWN . 422910_424170 *PAME: And so she (.) she lives 424170_425840 and . 425840_426320 *DARR: &{l=YWN Yeah &}l=YWN . 426320_427120 *PAME: I guess it's j- looking at my mother 427120_428570 too 428570_428930 I n- +/. 428930_429380 *PAME: ʔuh &=ex . 429380_430080 *DARR: (..) What does that have to do with why you're reading a book on death ? 430080_433330 *DARR: ⌈ &=in ⌉ . 433330_433960 *PAME: ⌊ &=in ⌋ (.) I've always been interested in death . 433590_436130 *DARR: (..) &{l=F Why: &}l=F . 436130_437180 *DARR: &=in . 437180_437440 *PAME: Why . 437440_437890 *DARR: &{l=WH &=laugh &=laugh &}l=WH . 437890_438590 *PAME: (..) &=in &=laugh &=laugh ⌈ yeah I'm laughing ⌉ . 438590_442120 *DARR: ⌊ What is ⌋ +... 441170_441780 *PAME: &=in I'm thinking one thing my mother always used to say: 442120_444670 when I wouldn't go bicycling with my ⌈ father ⌉ . 444670_446520 *DARR: ⌊ &{l=@ Pamela ⌋ 446240_447010 you are ⌈2 &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh . 447010_448250 *PAME: ⌊2 she would say ⌋2 . 447180_448280 *DARR: you are &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &}l=@ ⌉2 +... 448250_449450 *PAME: she would say 448280_449800 &=in &{l=Q you'll be s:orry when we're dead &}l=Q . 449800_453340 *DARR: Because [% laugh] you would⌈n't bicycling ⌉ ? 453340_455350 *PAME: ⌊ &=laugh &=laugh &{l=@ Mm &}l=@ ⌋ . 454370_455350 *PAME: Because I wouldn't go bicycling with my father . 455350_457750 *DARR: Oh . 457750_458330 *DARR: So i- w:- it's it's: +/. 458330_459730 *DARR: &=ex . 459730_459780 *PAME: You know 459780_459980 &=in and I h- +/. 459980_460510 *PAME: I bit my tongue the other day 460510_462010 because remember 462010_462790 (.) you said to Deven 462790_463840 well 463840_464330 I really want to spend time with you ? 464330_466030 *DARR: Yeah ? 466030_466750 *PAME: And then we went to the Chalk (.) Fair 466750_468800 and then he took off with Tobias ? 468800_470370 *DARR: The Chop Fair ? 470370_471320 *PAME: The Chalk . 471320_471870 *DARR: ⌈ Oh . 471870_472370 *PAME: ⌊ The Chalk Fair ⌋ . 472170_472870 *DARR: (.) unhunh ⌉ ? 472620_473220 *PAME: &=in And he took off with Tobias ? 473220_474970 *DARR: Yeah ? 474970_475420 *PAME: (..) Is that 475420_476860 that 476860_477210 (.) that (.) I wanted to say with him well your dad wanted to spend time with you today . 477210_481100 *PAME: (..) And why did you run off . 481100_483300 *PAME: (..) &=tsk And I didn't 483300_486440 because I remembered 486440_487680 (..) &=in that my mother tried to guilt me the same way . 487680_490730 *DARR: (..) &{l=YWN So that's why you're interested in death &}l=YWN ? 490730_494450 *PAME: &=SIGH . 494450_497640 *DARR: &=YAWN &=tsk . 496740_499240 *PAME: (..) &=tsk &=tsk &{l=X Maybe &}l=X it's because my parents were ol:d ? 499240_503400 *PAME: When I was young ? 503400_504350 *PAME: Very very young ? 504350_505240 *PAME: (..) I've always: 505240_509740 (..) thought it's w:eird 509740_511840 that we've been +/. 511840_512590 *PAME: (..) &=in I look down at my body ? 512590_515020 *PAME: (..) And I f:eel like I'm in a spaceship . 515020_518640 *DARR: (..) Yeah ? 518640_525690 *PAME: ⌈ &=laugh ⌉ &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh . 525690_527330 *DARR: ⌊ &{l=WH &=laugh &=laugh &}l=WH ⌋ . 526580_527330 *PAME: ⌈2 &=in I just . 527330_528080 *DARR: ⌊2 That's why you're interested in death ? 527450_529100 *PAME: &=in n- and . 528080_529050 *DARR: &=laugh &=laugh ⌋2 . 529100_529590 *PAME: I just ⌉2 think it's &{l=MRC so damn weird &}l=MRC we're here . 529100_532340 *DARR: (..) Yeah ? 532340_533680 *DARR: (..) Yeah 533680_534150 well it i:s . 534150_534750 *PAME: And 534750_535050 and I was constructed 535050_536970 (..) inside of some w:oman's w:omb 536970_539630 (..) &=in and I was ⌈ (..) burped out ⌉ . 539630_542720 *DARR: ⌊ &=in So &=in ⌋ 541520_542550 so you're running 542550_543320 you're running down the road 543320_544520 all the way to the very end . 544520_546020 *DARR: Hunh ? 546020_546320 *PAME: (..) &=in . 546320_547630 *DARR: N- you're you're you're already standing at the end of ⌈ the road ⌉ . 547630_550170 *PAME: ⌊ &=in ⌋ . 549750_550130 *DARR: (.) ⌈2 trying to figure out what hap⌉2pens there ? 550170_551720 *PAME: ⌊2 ʔuh:: Well ⌋2 550290_551190 ʔuh n- n- +/. 551720_552420 *PAME: Maybe I +/. 552420_552970 *PAME: maybe I'm just eager to get back to where I wa:s . 552970_555670 *PAME: &=in ⌈ May- ⌉ +... 555670_556270 *DARR: ⌊ Back ⌋ into the womb ? 556020_556970 *PAME: ʔuh No no no 556970_557970 I +/. 557970_558170 *PAME: maybe 558170_558520 (.) maybe this whole lifetime was just a really rude interruption [% laugh] . 558520_562340 *DARR: Of what [% laugh] 562340_562790 &=laugh ⌈ &{l=@ of what &}l=@ ⌉ . 562790_563540 *PAME: ⌊ &{l=@ Of what⌋ever it was &}l=@ I was doing 562810_564640 before I was 564640_565490 &=in before my number came up . 565490_567400 *PAME: (..) &=in And I was told I had to come ba:ck here . 567400_570050 *PAME: &=in . 570050_570600 *DARR: (..) &=in What if . 570600_575180 *DARR: What (.) if: . 575180_576130 *PAME: &=ex Unhu:nh . 576130_577130 *DARR: What if worrying about that . 577130_579170 *PAME: ʔSee 579170_579730 this is what you told Deven . 579730_581120 *DARR: well 581120_581370 what if worrying about that 581370_583040 has got in the way: 583040_584400 (..) gotten in the way 584400_586160 of you making positive choices for yourself in your life . 586160_589720 *DARR: (..) &=in Instead of just worrying about 589720_593220 w- that you're he:re 593220_594420 (..) and making the best out of it . 594420_597080 *PAME: (..) Being here is: 597080_599650 (.) is so illusive sometimes . 599650_601730 *PAME: (..) I mean (.) illusionary . 601730_604240 *DARR: (..) Those are two different words: 604240_606880 and they mean two different things . 606880_608380 *PAME: Well it's illusionary . 608230_609400 *PAME: (..) I take back what I said about illusive [% laugh] . 609400_611900 *DARR: &=laugh &=laugh . 611900_612150 *PAME: &=in ⌈ &=laugh &=laugh &=in &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌉ &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=in . 612150_615880 *DARR: ⌊ Y- (.) you may be elusive ⌋ 612960_614660 &=in 615880_616130 (..) well . 616130_617070 *PAME: Mm . 617070_617520 *DARR: yeah but (.) but (.) but: 617520_619120 ʔuh to me the whole point is is 619120_620720 (..) you have no idea 620720_625170 what happens before or after . 625170_627170 *DARR: (..) You have no idea . 627170_630530 *DARR: (..) You can read books about it 630530_633560 and you can (.) &=in talk about it 633560_635560 (..) but the most pragmatic thing to do is 635560_638750 to just (..) live it . 638750_640050 *PAME: (..) Hm . 640050_642400 *DARR: (..) Learn the rules of the game 642400_644640 (..) play the game . 644640_646320 *PAME: For what . 646320_647160 *DARR: (..) for whatever you wa:nt . 647160_649250 *DARR: (..) For whatʔever you wa:nt . 649250_653110 *DARR: (..) Be a: doctor 653110_656140 or a screen writer 656140_656990 or an actress 656990_657740 or a philanthropist 657740_658970 or: an explorer: ? 658970_660300 *PAME: (..) &{l=VOX An explorer &}l=VOX . 660300_665430 *DARR: (..) Do what you want 665430_666680 with the time you have . 666680_667980 *DARR: Learn 667980_668530 (..) give 668530_670010 (..) whatever . 670010_672610 *PAME: (..) Love ? 672610_674010 *DARR: ʔLo:ve ? 674010_675080 *PAME: ⌈ &{l=VOX Love ⌉ ? 675080_676020 *DARR: ⌊ &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌋ . 675270_676020 *PAME: &=in Could ⌈2 I ⌉2 love you ? 676020_677680 *DARR: ⌊2 X ⌋2 676600_676850 &=laugh . 677680_677930 *PAME: &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh 677930_680010 &=in Could I love you while I'm here &}l=VOX ? 680010_682200 *PAME: (.) &=in &=ex . 682200_682950 *DARR: &=in . 682950_683200 *PAME: (..) &=in . 683200_685900 *DARR: Don't make light of what I'm saying . 685900_687700 *PAME: (..) N:o . 687700_688610 *PAME: (..) Think about the kids . 688610_692250 *PAME: What are +/. 692250_692650 *PAME: who are 692650_693150 who are these kids . 693150_694300 *PAME: (..) &{l=W Who are these kids &}l=W . 694300_696550 *PAME: (.) &=laugh &=in 696550_698150 (..) These little seedpods 698150_699840 (..) &=in that have been sent ⌈ our way ⌉ . 699840_702090 *DARR: ⌊ &=in ⌋ &=ex 701360_702850 (..) Well 702850_704900 (.) sometimes for me 704900_706000 they are a whip and a hairshirt . 706000_707570 *PAME: &=laugh ⌈ &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌉ . 707570_709520 *DARR: ⌊ &{l=WH &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &}l=WH ⌋ . 707940_709520 *PAME: &=in They're little 709520_711110 (.) little 711110_711610 (..) little lessons . 711610_713200 *PAME: &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=in . 713200_714630 *DARR: (..) &=tsk (.) Yeah 714630_716870 ah 716870_717120 yeah I mean 717120_717520 sometimes I have to be ⌈ real prep- ⌉ +... 717520_718820 *PAME: ⌊ &=GASP ⌋ . 718270_719000 *DARR: (.) What . 719000_719880 *PAME: XX 719880_720500 Natalie asked me about Santa Claus today . 720500_722500 *DARR: What did she 722500_723630 ⌈ what did she say ⌉ . 723630_724440 *PAME: ⌊ In the laundro⌋mat . 723930_724680 *PAME: She said 724680_725180 (.) mom 725180_725680 Santa Claus isn't 725680_726760 (..) I mean 726760_728580 d- is there a for real Sa- Santa Claus ? 728580_730930 *PAME: (.) I said a for real Santa Claus 730930_732810 you mean a man who lives (.) at the north pole ? 732810_735080 *PAME: (.) &=in She said yeah 735080_736230 I said no . 736230_736830 *PAME: (..) &=in And she said 736830_739270 well 739270_739560 who are the other ones . 739560_740580 *PAME: I said well 740580_741120 they're the spirit of Santa Claus 741120_742870 and 742870_743120 (..) &=in they represent Santa Claus . 743120_745470 *PAME: They +/. 745470_745770 *PAME: &=in they're a picture ⌈ of Santa Claus ⌉ . 745770_747570 *DARR: ⌊ They're Santa Claus's ⌋ agents . 746620_748360 *PAME: (.) &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh 748360_749550 &=in They're pictures of Santa Claus . 749550_751350 *PAME: (..) Is my mike on . 751350_754140 *DARR: Unhunh ? 754140_754780 *PAME: Oh 754780_755710 ⌈ Okay . 755710_756190 *DARR: ⌊ &=in It sure is . 755710_756850 *PAME: &=in And ⌉ . 756190_757150 *DARR: you just ⌋ damn near broke the damn needle there ? 756850_758880 *PAME: and then she said 758880_759950 (..) and then she said well 759950_762120 who fills the stockings . 762120_763810 *PAME: (..) And I kind of 763810_767670 I said 767670_768150 (..) love fills the stockings . 768150_770130 *DARR: Oh Go:d 770030_770920 ⌈ Pamela ⌉ . 770920_771820 *PAME: ⌊ &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh She ⌋ said 770620_772270 &=in she said 772270_773340 oh you mean 773340_774140 (..) adults: ? 774140_775810 *DARR: &=in . 775810_776870 *PAME: (..) Adults who wanna show you how much they care 776870_779930 and I said 779930_780580 (..) &=in yeah . 780580_781600 *PAME: Adults: 781600_782390 adults around who love you . 782390_784220 *PAME: (..) Fill those stockings . 784220_785810 *PAME: (..) &=in And I said 785810_787720 she said but some adults: talk about Santa Claus 787720_790490 I said that's because 790490_791480 (.) they wanna believe in Santa Claus . 791480_793170 *PAME: &=in And that's what I told her 793170_794440 I said 794440_794690 I wanna believe in Santa Claus . 794690_796450 *PAME: (.) In fact sometimes I d:o believe in Santa Claus . 796450_800430 *PAME: (..) And that 800430_803390 (..) that really ⌈ satisfied her ⌉ . 803390_804820 *DARR: ⌊ &=in ⌋ . 804100_804810 *PAME: &=in ⌈2 &{l=F But I thought ⌉2 it was very pragmatic of her to ask about that in June &}l=F . 804820_808520 *DARR: ⌊2 Yeah but what d- ⌋2 . 805040_805640 *PAME: &=in I thought to myself 808520_809620 if she asked me that 809620_810810 like 810810_811200 ⌈ on ⌉ ⌈2 Christmas ⌉2 ⌈3 Eve ⌉3 . 811190_812400 *DARR: ⌊ well ⌋ ⌊2 she ⌋2 ⌊3 must have gotten some ⌋3 sort of a signal somewhere . 811270_813670 *ENV: ⌊2 &=MICROPHONE ⌋2 . 811490_811820 *PAME: Today in the laundromat ? 813670_815610 *DARR: &{l=X I mean &}l=X what does that have to do with death . 815410_817010 *DARR: (..) &{l=WH &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &}l=WH . 817010_818500 *PAME: (..) Well 818500_819600 (.) we were talking about 819600_820800 (.) death: and illusions . 820800_822080 *DARR: &=in . 822080_822370 *PAME: the illusions of this life 822370_824130 (.) &=in you know 824130_825460 I +/. 825460_825760 *PAME: &=in (.) ʔuh I 825760_827060 ʔuh I . 827060_827710 *DARR: X X ⌈ X ⌉ . 827710_828860 *PAME: ⌊ &{l=VOX my ⌋ favorite word when I was twelve &}l=VOX 828730_830880 (..) was paradox . 830880_833630 *DARR: (..) &{l=YWN Why &}l=YWN . 833280_835670 *PAME: &=in Because 835670_836470 (..) I thought 836470_837710 (.) any wor:d 837710_838690 (..) that was defined . 838690_840360 *PAME: (.) I mean I remember the definition . 840360_842110 *PAME: (.) &=in That I learned in seventh grade . 842110_844060 *PAME: (.) &=in That was paradox . 844060_845710 *PAME: (.) &=in Seemingly contrary . 845710_847870 *DARR: (..) &=tsk ⌈ Seemingly &{l=P X X X &}l=P ⌉ . 847870_850270 *PAME: ⌊ Seemingly con- ⌋ 848970_849780 &=in and I had a hard time with the definition . 849780_852020 *PAME: (.) &=in So I thought (.) God . 852020_853520 *PAME: &=in A wor:d . 853520_854600 *PAME: &=in (.) That I'm supposed to lear:n 854600_856340 &=in and I get this definition 856340_857790 and I don't even understand ⌈ the defini:tion ⌉ . 857790_859790 *DARR: ⌊ The definition: ⌋ of the word paradox 858910_861190 is by design ambiguous . 861190_863230 *DARR: (..) Chew on this one . 863230_867180 *DARR: An ambiguous paradox . 867180_869010 *PAME: (..) Is that redundant ? 869010_872020 *DARR: Yes . 872020_872810 *PAME: ⌈ &=laugh &=GROAN &=laugh ⌉ &=laugh &=laugh &=in . 872810_875960 *DARR: ⌊ &=laugh &=GROAN &{l=WH &=laugh &=laugh &}l=WH ⌋ . 873130_874880 *PAME: (..) Well 875960_876460 (.) that was age twelve . 876460_877710 *PAME: (.) So ʔuh- 877710_878210 that was very close to Deven's age 878210_879950 when 879950_880180 (..) &=in I sort of: 880180_881610 (.) bit my teeth into that one . 881610_883260 *DARR: Bit your teeth 883260_884310 hunh ? 884310_884490 *PAME: &=in And then 884490_885430 yeah . 885430_885810 *DARR: ⌈ &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌉ &=laugh &=laugh . 885580_886660 *PAME: ⌊ As I went ⌋ 885810_886420 &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌈2 &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌉2 . 886660_888660 *DARR: ⌊2 &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌋2 . 887260_889510 *PAME: &=in I . 888710_889690 *DARR: &=in &=laugh &=laugh . 889490_891040 *PAME: took a bite ? 890390_891190 *DARR: &{l=@ Is 891040_891360 is that like c:utting it ⌈ in the ⌉ nip: &}l=@ ? 891360_893840 *PAME: ⌊ &=laugh &=laugh ⌋ . 892720_893300 *DARR: &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh . 893840_895930 *PAME: &=in (..) I 895330_898240 I get a little ⌈ ahead &{l=@ of myself ⌉ &}l=@ . 898240_900890 *DARR: ⌊ &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=in ⌋ 898640_900890 &{l=@ Yeah I guess you do &}l=@ . 900890_902620 *DARR: &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=in . 902620_903680 *PAME: ⌈ &=in Oh God I hope this doesn't ⌉ all sound real s:tupid . 903680_908020 *DARR: ⌊ &=in X: &=laugh ⌋ . 903960_906600 *PAME: &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh 908020_909120 &=in (..) Well . 909120_910840 *PAME: (.) ʔuh From 910840_911540 (.) from twelve to seventeen 911540_912990 then 912990_913420 (..) that went from paradox 913420_916960 (..) to 916960_917990 (..) the invisible 917990_919630 (.) interfacing with the visible . 919630_921550 *DARR: (..) &=tsk Hunh ? 921550_923660 *PAME: &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh 923660_924700 The invisible . 924700_925950 *PAME: (..) inter⌈facing ⌉ with the visible . 925950_928230 *DARR: ⌊ Facing X ⌋ . 926840_927540 *PAME: &=in For everything you see . 928230_929640 *PAME: You can look at me and I'm a body . 929640_931390 *PAME: &=in You see eyes 931390_932890 (..) you see (.) body 932890_934960 you see hair 934960_935740 you see 935740_936310 &=laugh &=laugh ⌈ &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌉ . 936310_938730 *DARR: ⌊ &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌋ &=laugh &=laugh . 937720_939220 *PAME: &=SLAP &{l=@ S- get your hands off me &}l=@ . 939220_941370 *PAME: ⌈ &=in ⌉ . 941370_942340 *DARR: ⌊ &=in ⌋ . 941650_942300 *PAME: Y:ou &{l=HI see &}l=HI all those things 942340_943990 right ? 943990_944400 *DARR: ⌈ &{l=VOX Yea:h &}l=VOX ⌉ . 944400_945410 *PAME: ⌊ But there's ⌋ there's me: 944880_946210 insi:de . 946210_947140 *PAME: (.) That's (..) invisible . 947140_949900 *DARR: (..) It's not 949900_953100 (..) it's it's n- 953100_954550 it's it's . 954550_955700 *PAME: &=in I mean 955050_955700 &=in what if 955700_956350 what if you took the same (..) spacesuit ? 956350_959780 *PAME: (..) And you put another spirit into it . 959780_962680 *PAME: (..) It would be ⌈ a different person . 962680_965400 *DARR: ⌊ &{l=@ It'd say 964410_965100 let me out &}l=@ . 965100_966200 *DARR: &=LAUGHTER ⌋ . 966200_971380 *PAME: &=LAUGHTER ⌉ 965400_971380 It would be 971380_972130 (.) a different person . 972130_973130 *DARR: (..) &{l=X You're &}l=X ⌈ right ⌉ . 973130_976810 *PAME: ⌊ I ⌋ wouldn't ⌈2 be ⌉2 me . 976570_977700 *DARR: ⌊2 Right ⌋2 . 977130_977380 *DARR: That's right . 977700_978200 *DARR: It'd be a different ⌈ personality ⌉ . 978200_979550 *PAME: ⌊ &=in ⌋ So (.) I 979070_980330 (.) I 980330_981010 (..) I think it's: 981010_982680 ⌈ very fascinating ⌉ . 982680_983730 *DARR: ⌊ Of course that's a hypothetical ⌋ 982700_984020 ⌈2 how do you know that ⌉2 . 984020_984650 *PAME: ⌊2 &=in ⌋2 it's very ⌈3 interesti- +... 984330_986100 *DARR: ⌊3 Maybe 985610_985880 may- . 986100_986350 *PAME: &=ex . 986350_986630 *DARR: maybe . 986630_986950 *PAME: &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌉3 . 986950_988040 *DARR: may:be: ⌋3 987200_988040 maybe the spacesuit has something to do: 988040_990300 with 990300_990550 (.) with who's inside of it . 990550_991800 *DARR: (.) &=in I mean you don't know ⌈ that ⌉ . 991800_993200 *PAME: ⌊ &=tsk &=in ⌋ Wouldn't that be f- a fascinating ⌈2 experiment ⌉2 . 992850_995840 *DARR: ⌊2 &{l=A Well no 995340_995710 be⌋2cause look &}l=A . 995710_996590 *DARR: (.) Genes . 996590_997140 *DARR: (.) Genetic makeup . 997140_998260 *DARR: (.) It's proven . 998260_999060 *DARR: (.) And that's part of the spacesuit 999060_1000850 if you wanna use that . 1000850_1001780 *DARR: (..) That that your genetic makeup 1001780_1004400 (.) largely determines who you are . 1004400_1006190 *PAME: (.) You mean (.) the chemical bath I sit in ? 1006190_1008540 *DARR: Yeah . 1008540_1009110 *DARR: (..) As it were . 1009110_1010110 *DARR: (.) &=in &=ex . 1010110_1010910 *PAME: (..) Hm: . 1010910_1012130 *PAME: (.) Sort of dictates how I feel about being in ⌈ (.) this spacesuit ⌉ . 1012130_1016250 *DARR: ⌊ Ye:s . 1015150_1015780 *DARR: Yes right ⌋ . 1015780_1016550 *DARR: (.) R- you know 1016550_1016920 and it depends on your brain dolphin level 1016920_1018800 ⌈ and ⌉ . 1018800_1019110 *PAME: ⌊ &=in ⌋ My brain dolphin 1018850_1020150 XX ⌈2 X ⌉2 X . 1020150_1020800 *DARR: ⌊2 mm ⌋2 . 1020420_1020720 *PAME: that's sweet . 1020800_1021580 *DARR: (..) you ⌈ know ⌉ ? 1021580_1023960 *PAME: ⌊ Hunh ⌋ . 1023540_1023980 *DARR: &{l=X I- depend am- &}l=X 1023980_1024730 yeah . 1024730_1025130 *DARR: Yeah . 1025130_1025510 *DARR: (..) A lot of it has to do with the with the 1025510_1027610 (.) the r:- +/. 1027610_1028610 *DARR: (..) &=tsk &=in five dollars and ninety-eight cents worth of chemicals and compounds that make you . 1028610_1033380 *PAME: (..) ʔuh We could spend a lot of our life 1033380_1038020 trying to 1038020_1038720 to contradict that . 1038720_1039910 *DARR: &{l=F Why: &}l=F . 1039910_1040760 *PAME: &=in Well 1040760_1041760 ⌈ Because ⌉ . 1041760_1042630 *DARR: ⌊ &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌋ &=laugh . 1041760_1042680 *PAME: &=in &{l=@ it may be &}l=@ a very bad ⌈2 chemi⌉2cal bath . 1042680_1045180 *DARR: ⌊2 &=in ⌋2 &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh . 1044050_1045680 *PAME: &=in We ⌈3 may ⌉3 . 1045180_1045880 *DARR: ⌊3 &=SNIFF ⌋3 . 1045680_1046000 *PAME: ʔb- been put into something that's completely acid 1046000_1048530 to our true essence . 1048530_1049770 *PAME: &=in . 1049770_1050120 *DARR: (.) Yeah 1050120_1050420 but we ⌈ have no choice in that matter ⌉ . 1050420_1052470 *PAME: ⌊ And we spend a lifetime ⌋ 1050670_1052320 (..) that's right . 1052470_1054320 *PAME: (..) N- well 1054320_1055910 no &=in apparent choice . 1055910_1057500 *PAME: (..) No choice: 1057500_1059950 (..) that we know of . 1059950_1061870 *DARR: (..) Mn yeah . 1061870_1062890 *DARR: (..) Hm (.) hm (.) y- (.) yeah . 1062890_1065410 *DARR: (..) But but rather than than . 1065410_1069090 *PAME: (..) &=in I mean I'm not 1069090_1072170 (.) I'm not 1072170_1072720 (..) I'm not all bent out of shape about ⌈ it ⌉ . 1072720_1075270 *DARR: ⌊ &=laugh ⌋ &=laugh &=laugh ⌈2 &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌉2 . 1074990_1077490 *PAME: ⌊2 &=in But I've just ⌋2 1076090_1077240 &{l=X but I was ⌈3 thi- &}l=X ⌉3 +... 1077240_1078000 *DARR: ⌊3 &{l=@ X You're ⌋3 just ⌈4 really interested in dea:th &}l=@ . 1077520_1079870 *PAME: ⌊4 My yearning 1078340_1079140 my yearning ⌋4 . 1079620_1080570 *DARR: &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌉4 . 1079870_1080820 *PAME: my yearning is n- +/. 1080820_1081970 *PAME: (.) ⌈ maybe ⌉ not to run ahead and . 1081970_1083320 *DARR: ⌊ &=in ⌋ . 1082090_1082290 *PAME: (.) and 1083320_1083820 (..) and 1083820_1084270 and get to the exit . 1084270_1085470 *PAME: &=in As +/. 1085470_1086700 *PAME: (..) . 1086700_1088250 *DARR: &=in ⌈ W- ⌉ +... 1088250_1088720 *PAME: ⌊ I ⌋ mean maybe it's the yearning ʔuh 1088530_1090230 (.) for where I was before I was born . 1090230_1092280 *DARR: &=in Well how is write- +/. 1092280_1093380 *DARR: reading a book written by some schmuck 1093380_1095610 who thinks he's an expert on d:eath 1095610_1097460 &=in . 1097460_1097680 *PAME: Well he may or may not be a schmuck 1097680_1099390 Darryl . 1099390_1099950 *DARR: (..) &=in Anyone who sits down to write a book about d:eath 1099950_1103510 (.) with the hopes of enlightening 1103510_1104910 his fellow human beings 1104910_1106190 &=in (.) is in my book a schmuck . 1106190_1108090 *PAME: (..) &=tsk &=in Well now 1108090_1110190 (..) &{l=VOX them's fightin' ⌈ wor:ds ⌉ . 1110190_1112160 *DARR: ⌊ &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌋ . 1111470_1112490 *PAME: boy: &}l=VOX . 1112160_1112590 *PAME: &=laugh &{l=@ You could &}l=@ +/. 1112590_1113540 *PAME: &=in . 1113540_1114020 *DARR: Who the hell is someone 1114020_1115370 (.) anyone 1115370_1116070 who's &{l=@ living 1116070_1116920 to sit down &}l=@ and write a book about dea:th . 1116920_1119420 *DARR: (..) &=laugh ⌈ &=laugh ⌉ &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=in . 1119420_1128110 *PAME: ⌊ &=laugh ⌋ . 1125510_1126130 *DARR: Now really . 1128110_1128860 *PAME: &=in . 1128860_1129460 *DARR: You know ? 1129460_1129780 *DARR: ʔIt's like 1129780_1130180 ʔuh it's these +/. 1130180_1130930 *DARR: (.) ʔthis +/. 1130930_1131130 *DARR: ʔthis is the (.) person who falls under that (.) that 1131130_1133280 &=in (.) category of expert that I disdain so much . 1133280_1136710 *DARR: (..) I know a ⌈ lot about- ⌉ +... 1136710_1141140 *PAME: ⌊ &=in Maybe ⌋ he's a &{l=MRC very old soul &}l=MRC . 1140520_1143090 *PAME: &=ex . 1143090_1143340 *DARR: (.) &=ex . 1143340_1143840 *PAME: (..) Plea:⌈se ⌉ . 1143840_1145750 *DARR: ⌊ &{l=@ Like Old ⌋ ⌈2 King Cole &}l=@ ⌉2 . 1145140_1146830 *PAME: ⌊2 &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌋2 . 1145750_1146320 *DARR: &=LAUGHTER ⌈3 &=lengthened ⌉3 . 1146830_1158660 *PAME: ⌊3 &=LAUGHTER ⌋3 1153440_1158680 Hm: . 1158680_1159740 *PAME: (..) &=tsk &=in Well 1159740_1161490 &=ex . 1161490_1161740 *DARR: &=tsk If he's a very old soul 1161740_1162990 he should keep it to ⌈ himself ⌉ . 1162990_1164490 *PAME: ⌊ &=in ⌋ you know 1163990_1164820 ʔuh ʔuh &=ex 1164820_1166150 (..) I felt l- after Gretchen died 1166150_1168050 it was all (.) rather unfair . 1168050_1169900 *PAME: I mean 1169900_1170250 ʔuh ʔuh the tides at work 1170250_1171750 (..) just swept over her so quickly . 1171750_1174000 *PAME: (..) &=in And it ⌈ was like ⌉ . 1174000_1175410 *DARR: ⌊ But really ⌋ not so quickly 1175030_1176580 it was 1176580_1176930 &{l=X &{l=P yeah &}l=P &}l=X 1176930_1177180 I mean 1177180_1177630 it was something that had started in her a very long time ago . 1177630_1180580 *PAME: (..) She was gone in less than 1180580_1184340 (..) five months . 1184340_1186910 *PAME: (.) Six +/. 1186910_1187360 *PAME: Eight months . 1187360_1188010 *DARR: (..) &=in &=THROAT . 1188010_1190660 *PAME: (..) And it just: 1190660_1193160 (..) amazes me: . 1193160_1194820 *PAME: &=in I mean 1194820_1196950 you can't drag on and on and on about a fellow creature who's gone 1196950_1200750 &=in (..) but I still miss my grandmother . 1200750_1204160 *PAME: (..) And I 1204160_1209370 (..) I certainly miss my do:g . 1209370_1211220 *PAME: (..) &=in I just think it's so wei:rd 1211220_1219900 that they're go:ne . 1219900_1220750 *PAME: (..) And where did they go to . 1220750_1223040 *PAME: (..) . 1223040_1228060 @End